Todays title is dead clever innit! I came up wif it all on me owns wif no help from nobody, especially not dat Webster who had nuffin' to do wif it, wasn't even in da same room an' definintely didn't says "Hey Audley, I's gots a good title for yer blog." (he don'ts talk like dat but I can't do da accent, anyways, it don't matter cos he never saids anyfin' like dat.)

Da reason it is entitled dis wos cos Webster has been working on sets of designs for me for me Business. Now many might fink. "Oh noes Audley wtf r u do?" cos dey is kinda dumbs an' dont's learn writin' in English Proper likes me, who don't be like dat. One days I'm even learns ta read, so I can check sure me words are as good as I fink dey is.

Anyways. Back to da business about dat Business business. Some would says dat da in dese day of economics armageddons, one should be stashin' it in da piggy bank nots splashin' it out. An ye knows, dey is probably rights, but ye knows da old fairy tale wif da guy dat sands on some hills, makes a zombie, orders caterin' at a beach party an a weddin' an then talks so much about mustard seeds dat he gets arrested an only escapes by pretendin' to die' durin' torture? well dat guys saids "Da weak won'ts inheret da Earf you knows!" His aggressive, survival of da fittest get up an go attitude is EXACTLY wot da world needs right now, not like da namby pamby rubbish B.L.Z. reads about dat mad Cheesy cult an' his borin' goody-two shoes life.

Ye knows dat story rights? Bout's da Cheesy Crips guy wif da beard dat preaches on a mount, raises a guys from da dead, feeds five fousand people an' changes water inta wine wif magic gets doofed up by da cops as an evil wizard, den his former minons sell 'im out an den gets naileds up on a crossyfix dies an becomes an even more borin' ghost. Anyway dat guy he din't wants to go out dere an start his own business, he just wanted to hump about bein' cynical an' self righteous all da time like a lazy teenager.Well look were it gots him folks.

Anyways, Out of da blue one days I decideds dat Lady W should start shoutin at Webster demandin' a T-shirt wif me on it.So den I started to gets finkin' an' says to Webster. "T-Shirt Designs!!!!"

He saids. "Look I's two weeks away from finishin' dis parts of canto fours can'ts you leave me alone until I'm finished?"

"T-Shirt designs!" I demanded.

He sighed and got back to da drawin' board. So todays we has an exclusive sneak peaks into me forfcomin' collection.

Our first is for a white t shirt...


an da next one is da label for da back of da same T-Shirt.



So den I gots on to da web an realised dats peoples can gets images printeds onta t-shirts. I thoughts to myself. Hey I has an idea, why don'ts I makes webster do customised fronts and logos for anyones who wants one for a small fee. I could den send dem da high rez images of dere own custom me based T-shirt and dey coulds get it printed up demselves at dere convenience an own choice of quality. I'll also have standard catalogue too which if ye wants ta choose from dat . An so, whens me an' da Websters comes back from da edge of da world, dat's precisely wot I's gonna vestigate. Five souls in my pocket is better dan give dollars in yours.

Oh yeah. A reminders. We is comin' up to da end of da first part of Canto Four. "Black noise"  Part Two. "Abyss Road" will be startin' later on in da year. Comin' up dis summer dough we has the new Hypocrypha story "Undeadageddon" a few more Cakin's and a secret special project I still is not allowed to knows anyfin' abouts cos Webster says I'll blab it too soon an' kill it's potential deads.
 
I's off to watch the 5th season finale' of Monkey Bay.

CHOW!.

Lady Fantastix
. 

Fever Ray is an album from dis lady from anudder group called Da Knife.

Dunno much bouts da Knife, don't cares eidder. I is abouts as interested in da lifestyle an' personality of da guy who empties me bins (all over me stairs usually) as I is musicians, s'long as dey does dere jobs to me satisfaction, I is happy (unlike da bin man who empeeves me all da time!). So anyways, I was unfortunates enuff to have accidently turned da TeeVee over to EmptyV 2, which is usually filled wif miserable rich white kids strummin' guitars badly an' whinin' bout dere emotions so dully dat ye wish dey would top demselves after mass murderin' all dere stinkin' fans (and me bin man). But it wos lates at night an' I had just finished playin' a rousin' round of Left 4 deads wif Daver (YO Daver!) an' da Teevee flicked over to dis video wif a girl on a divin' board actin' like one of dem Sorors o' da black Temple an singin' dis weird song doin' dis weird dance an causin' sa swimmin' pool ta go bananas.

Needless ta say I founds it appeallin' an 'vestigated. Da song wos called "When I Grow Up" and dat is hows I discovered dis album.

An it's greats!

At first listen I was not too impressed wif da music but da lady's vocals (note from Webster. The "lady" in Question is  Karin Dreijer Andersson) an how she played wif tone an stuff was pretty nifty. As I gaves it a few more listens an' gots used to da style I began to 'preciate dat even dis wasn't particularly complex music it was structured really well an' took it's influences from all over yer monkey globe. Dere is some nice african style rhythms fused wif japanese tones an dark Euro beats. In ways, it sounds in parts like early Peter Gabriel stuff, an sometimes like Cocteau Twins, but is much more eerie in places fanks to da vocals of da lady. It has a unique atmosphere too, cos it's seemin'ly empty an' yet at da same time hauntin' an' as it goes on, it soon becomes like a journey into a dark tunnel where sounds from dreams an nightmares echo off da walls. Dat sounds a bit poncy I knows but I stands by it so dere NYAH!

So... HOORAY to Fever Ray.  

Eight fumbs up outta ten.