Befores we gets started, a word from da Webster.

Hi folks. 2010 started off well, went downhill and eventually plummeted into a chasm of electrified razorwire. Still it's 2011 and I'm feeling pretty positive (and well now) despite my grandfather still struggling between life and death in a medically bewildering state where his staved, sepsis addled body refuses to stop even though he wishes to pass on. It's given me a lot to think about with regards to the ape has a couple of hundred thousand years of history and an even longer lineage and the modern human has only been kicking about for about ten thousand at best and has no precedent. Many people think that the "self" is the captain of the ship but in this case it seems to have been limited to captive passenger.

Anyway... Audley advises me that the reason this blog contained little but my apologies for my tardiness and problems over the last year is that "2010 wos rubbish, ye monkeys better raise yer games dis year!"

Now over to her for her review of the year...



SLACKER!!!!! It's always sumfin wif dat ones. It's dat times o' year (I woulds have done dis earlier but Da Webster got dat swine flu I accidently caked up awhiles back an I weren'ts facin' dat demon piggy agains) where I reviews da very best media stuffs o' 2010.

Surpisin'ly da best seems ta have come from T.V. From da nonsensical Cheezy suckfest of True Blood wif its Faires Vampire supremacists and blood addicted Nazi werewolves, frough to da epic epicness of Boardwalk Empire, dere were a lot o' good shows dis year. Here is me top 5.

At Five...

Sons Of Anarchy. While dis was probably da worst season o' dis butch gun runnin' biker extravaganza it still had much goin' for it. Da lame paddyfication of da Feem tune lets it down almost as much as Titus Welliver's Van Dyke style Oirish accent, but dis was more dan made up for by Ron Perlman and Katey Sagal's phenomenal actin' as well as some fine comedy moments from Kim Coates' "Tig". A show better watched in a couple o' sittin's radder dan weekly, it still delivered da goods and promised a lot more for next season.

Misfits. By all rights no one apart from simpletons should like dis show. Smart arsed wisecrackin' teenage/20 somefin bufoonery is very popular at da moment from Inbetweeners to da downright Autistic Spectrum disordered Big Bang Feory. Normally I'd say draft em, put dem in some camo's an' fling dems at da Taliban! However I changed me mind slightly after watchin' dis. Essentially it's a bunch o' anti-social tosspots who chose to abandon any pretence at self betterment in da pursuit o' "cool" an' ended up takin' dat to it's logical ASBO wieldin' extreme as a bunch o' stoopid criminals doin' community service an' getting superpowers for some reason. In udder words utter rubbish. It should not work. Dey is all annoyin' gits, but somehow dat's da beauty of dis show. If it had been made across da ocean in dat Banana Republic called America, dey would all be handsome an' charmin' an a little bit risky, but it weren't. It were made in da U.K. wif a budget o' fifty pence and dey is all unlovable scum. Strangely dough it does work, it never considers itself more dan rubbish an' somehow because o' dis transcends it. Dere superpowers are pretty straight forward but really da show is more about dem just bein' wankers.

Boardwalk Empire.

Andudder HBO Gangsta show see... dis time dey've went back to da source material see... Prohibition kicks off an' suddenly we is followin' da deeply corrupt an' pitiful Nucky Thomson (Steve Buscemi) as he and his Repugnicant chums join forces wif criminals to keep da hooch rollin' into Atlantic City. Filled wif nudity, madness, serious bloody violence top notch swearin', costumes and sets which looks like dey were responsible for da near collapse of Greece, Ireland and Portugal as well as some of da best actin' on T.V. dis is anudder shinin' beacon in HBO's catalogue. Watch it.

Breaking Bad.

I cannot recommend dis show highly enuff. So I won't but to says dat if ye don't watch dis show ye is missin' somfin dat in my opinion pisses all over Da Wire, which itself was one of da best fings ever made. Still if ye isn't watchin' it, dere's probably no hope for ye.

The Venture Brothers.

(takes a deep breath) Remember when Da Simpsons was good? I mean when you would watch its an' say I can't believe how funny dis is, how clever it is, how daring it is? Remember? Sometime before Bush got into power and dey neutered da writers in da second biggest act of cultural terrorism after Shock and Awe? Remember? Before dey decided ta add 20% schmaltz ta every episode an' make da main focus da self empowerment o' Lisa Simpson? Well da last season o Da Venture Brothers reminded me o' that. Sure it's very much a niche show, if ye don't get superheroes ye may well not likes it, but to dose wif even a modicum of knowledge abouts da field should find lots ta love. Jackson Publick an Doc Hammer have made sumfin wonderful here.

While primarily a show about two junior action heroes (sort of like Johnny Quest) what dis show does is subvert dat idea by making it about self delusion, disappointment and above all failure. Da characters are rich, an whereas prior to last season it was almost all epically stoopid tomfoolery wot we has now is a kind of epically stoopid comedy soap opera in which da superheroes are normal everyday humans, wif dere weaknesses and neuroses, arrogance an' self denial. People used to talks about Watchmen as da best example o' dis. But dat's old hat an' is cold an' detached compared to The Venture Brothers.

I remains in awe.

Coming up next... Top 5 movies.