I've always been a fan of live music. I've been to see hundreds of bands many of whom I'd never heard of, just because I like to see a performance. It's been a while since I've seen any new bands though, mostly because I've been out of touch with the contemporary music scene and am too old to be hip. Still when I heard one of my friends flat mate's band was playing, I thought it would be worthwhile to go along and check them out.

They are called Stage Blood and this was their second gig. It was at The Captain's Rest on Great Western Road. A nice pub with a downstairs venue which reminded much like the Stage that Dean Stockwell performed upon in David Lynch's Blue Velvet. I had absolutely no expectations either positive or negative and so after a few pints, some good chat with friends of friends, meeting face to face some of my online zombie killing crew, I shuffled down to watch the guys perform.

I must say I was deeply impressed. I've not seen a band, especially a new band, in a long while who were as tight as these guys. Their music reminded me of early Fugazi in a way, like Margin Walker, but Stage Blood play with timing and rhythm much more boldly, these guys were stopping and starting on a hairpin, like I said... Tight.

Though their kind of Hardcore is not really my cup of tea usually, I really fucking enjoyed myself. It was refreshing for me to have my ears assaulted this way, considering of late I've been listening to a lot of  comfortable Jazz, Do-Wop, Scott Walker and Serge Gainsbourg and such easy listening with lush production. Both Guitarists were mashing out lovely power chords then scrambling up and down the fret board like their hands were tarantulas on speed, the bassist was beastly good, and the drummer must have been totally exhausted. Energy, raw noise and craftsmanship, a great combination.

The only thing that was problematic was the singing, it was muted in comparison to this fab noise. While this in part could have been blamed on the P.A., I got the feeling that the vocalist was stifling himself and as such his vocals were a bit one dimensional. This was evinced when during the penultimate track he did loosen up and give it his all and was much better for it. More of that please!

All in all though it was a great gig and I'd recommend if you see them playing in your town or city, buy a ticket, you'll enjoy yourself.

Apart from all that I had a brilliant schadenfreude moment, when, next to me, some guy with his mobile phone was trying to take a picture of the drummer. After spending a good 30 seconds or so framing it and making sure it was going to be a good one he clicked just in time to have the drummers head obscured by the machine head of the Bass guitar.

Oh how I laughed. Good times.

Stage Blood.
The Captain's Rest
25th March 2009.

Eight thumbs up out of Ten.

At the Beginning of March I made the decision to change the nibs I was using from a nice big flexible Gillot 32 nib to a tiny rigid Hunt 102 nib. The difference between the two is quite remarkable. The Gillot nibs I'd been using for so long that I found it difficult at first to approach a page with the Hunt and I must have lost about 3 pages of pencilled work testing them out and failing. However I liked the lines that were coming out and perservered (which is why there has been a continuation of the lack of updates) I thought it was important to change though  but at first I was supplimenting my Gillots with the Hunts for a bit of cross hatching, which at times were too fine and at the reduction of the page onto the screen looked a bit blurred. However Today sees the first attempt at using the Hunt itself and if I say so myself I really like the result, though it might not be apparent at first subtle things like the shading on the Soldiers helmet or the rim of Audley's shorts or the varied light from the fire against the duckboards would have been all but impossible using the gillot. Also because the lines are much thinner and my confidence is building with the Hunt, I find that I am getting my pages done (well at least the Audley pages, the Mania stuff takes a bit longer because I'm still getting used to drawing her and Chor and the rest) a bit quicker. In fact I already have Tomorrows done.

So with any luck, if I can drag everyone away from playing the phenomenal Left 4 Dead, I should get back to 5 pages a week.

I appreciate those who have stuck with my slackadozical (as Aud would say) output of late and hope you are enjoying Black Noise as much as I am, especially since the last two cantos were very different from what went before. Trust me folks, everything will all make sense before this canto is over, even if it does seem sometimes like it's all over the place. Those who know me know that's how I flow.

Cheers.

Webster

Watchmen, nanananananananana WATCHMEN!!! WATCHMEN! WATCHMEN! WATCHMEN!!!!

So I just been to see Watchmen an' din't really enjoy it. Dere is some real fundamental reasons why. Imagine if ye will some looney billionaire turns up at a school wif a 100 million dollars and a copy of Watchmen and flings them at a dimwitted fanboy and says "go make dis into a 2 an a half hour movie". If ye cans imagine dat den ye can imagines Watchmen. It's like a student movie wif an overbearing cliched  an' frankly annoyin' soundtrack which is seemin'ly so loud as to stun yer pereceptual apparatus inta not noticin' da serious deep flaws in dis movie. Which makes it a perfect hollywood film.  Dere are spoilers in dis, but if you haven't read Watchmen, den tough. It's not like da entire comic community hasn't been ravin' about it to everyone for da last 20 years.

If ye is not familiar wif da plot go read da book, cos Zack Snyder has ripped da heart of it out, leavin' it more convincin'ly undead dan his remake of Dawn of Da Deads. But in essence it's about da idealism of superheroes in comparison to da flawed reality of humanity. So wots wrong wif dis movie?

Well I mentioned da rubbish soundtrack, which at points is laffable for example da twangin' of "Da Sound of Silence" as we pan over a cemetery (we knows dis cos of da sign dat says CEMETERY) an' den "Hullo darkness my ol' friend" nearly mades me LOL out louds. Dat and da fact dat it never stops, almost every scene is flooded wif music until ye just wanna shouts "will ye turn dat music down" like some grumpy ol'  downstairs dad type tryin' to watch Question of Sport while ye is tryin' to listen to Bernard Da Happy Parrot's new experimental Thrash Jazz album.

Secondly dere is some really really bad actin'. Now I is not blamin' da actors for dis because in da main dey pull out some good performances. Jeffery Dean Morgan is pretty good as amoral scumbag "Da Comedian". Jack Earle Haley's Rorschach is pretty good and da rest of da cast to dere jobs, but in some scenes it looks as if Snyder forgot he was directin' a movie an' da perfomances drop into da embarrassin'. To be fairs it looked like da actors were picked solely because dey look a bit like da characters in da comic radder dan actin' ability.

Firdly, dere is da fight scenes. Everyfin' slooooows dooooowwwwn and denspeedsup an' den sloooows doowwwn and denspeedsup. Da problem wif dis is dat at normal speed, dey mights have acrtually had more time to shape da plot dey had to work wif.

Den dere is da sets. Sometimes ye dunno if it's 1958 or 1985. Dere is some piss poor Nixon wif a Cyrano De Bergerac comedy false nose who sits in da "war room" straights outta Doctor Stangelove, but wifout da comedy antics of George C Scott to inject it wif any sense of ludicrousness.

Den dere is da BIG problem about da altered endin'. But I'll get to dat laters.

In da main it follows da comic as closely as a two anna half hour movie can. Sometimes frame by frame, but in doin' dis certain decisions has to have been made about what is removed and wot's been removed is not always trivial. In fact often wots been left out is da true motivations of da characters (this is speshully true of Ozymandias). A good example of dis is would be Doctor Manhattan. See wot Watchmen does is give da back story of each of da main characters an' Snyder gets into dis wif relish for Da Comedian, who is really da most superfluous character in da entire fing. Because of dis da glorious backstory of Doctor Manhattan is dramatically truncated (it forms da centrepiece of da book) as he remebbers his past and his and future while hoverin' above da sands of Mars.

Personally I fink dat dis was a massive mistake, cos it is da creation of Doctor Manhattan dat causes dat alternative reality to be truly alternative to ours. Da rest are just humans in costumes Manhattan is not. AAAAAAND what is really important is dat da events dat leads to dis variation, and his accidental apofeosis start wif a Fat man standing on and breaking his girlfriends watch. (Watchmen... see?) Wot we is treated to is a potted origin story, radder dan an understandin' of how dis human wif all his flaws wifdraws into a dispassionate puppet of a higher order of reality. Lackin' dat he is simply a curious blue superpowered anomaly wif his jennies out.

Because Snyder lavishes over da story of Da Comedian, we lose also da wonderful discussion between Doc M and his ex-girlfiend Laurie and da heart wrenchin' revelation dat dat conversation entails is reduced to a moment of "oh rights..."  I don't wanna here time contraints as an excuse here, dere was plenty of fat dat could have been trimmed in order dat we could have a better glimpse at da protagonists lives and as such invest emotion in dere plights. But dat's not hollywood is it? Why go for drama when we can go for tits and blood ejaculations? An dat brings me to annudder point about da same fing. Da unhealthy love affair between Laurie and Dan, which is both tender and bizarre is turned into a quick costume diddlin'. Da madness of Rorschach is also skipped over. (Intrestin'ly dey has no problem showin' him butcher a child killer wif a meat cleaver (which ain't in da book, his fate is much worse) but gets squeamish about showin' him killin' da dogs (whom da murderer fed da little girl to) But it is da dog is da key dat unlocks his memory in da first place. Passed over.

So den da final kick in da teef. NO fuggin' Squid.

I should point out dat dis is more an aesthetic change dan a film ruining one. BUT! In order dat da new ending makes any sense we has to A) care about da Characters. B) Understand da motivations of da antagonist. C) Appreciate da crime dat he has commited.

BIG SPOILER (Ye has been warned)

So, I understand dat Alan Moore's original ending in which Ozymandias, years earlier, predictin' nuclear armageddon, sets up an elaborate scheme to end all war by collectin' a bunch of artists, horror writers and scientists on an island to create a massive squidlike creature dat is den teleported into New York sending out a physical and psychic explosion which kills Half of New York and sends millions insane, could be a bit bizarre for yer average popcorn munchin' ape. Also since some crazy fools crashed some planes into da twin towers, Moore's Ozymandias seems naive and anachronistic, since that didn't bring about world peace, it isn't likely da squid would eidder.

 So da new idea, dat of framin' Doctor Manhattan for killing da citizens of New York, Paris, Moscow and various udder cities by his blooey powers in itself would have worked well. However! In dis dey fail da above A B an C.

Again so much has been invested in first part o da movie, dat Ozymandias' backstory is reduced to a few lines early on and an very slight exposition later on. We learn nuffin' about his motivation really. Nor do we really care about his crime. Sure he destroyed all dese cities, but when Laurie an' Doc Manhattan turns up in New York, dere is some devastation, but we are given only a mere glimpse of it. Gone are the piles of corpses in Times Square, or Madison square Garden. What we get is a big hole and some grey windy mist an since we don't really care about da characters da final confrontation an compromise seems too casual. Too rushed.

In fact I fink it is fair to say dat we end up like Doctor Manhattan, observin' dese events without havin' anyfin' of ourselves invested in dem. Perhaps dat was da point, but if it was den it makes no sense.

Frankly I fink if you've read Watchmen, dere is little point in seein' dis and if you've not read Watchmen den you is gonna see a movie in which da characters are little more dan cyphers to push forward a plot which while not incomprehensible by any means, has no real effect on you as a viewer.

Alan Moore has stated dat for Fiction to work it must be emotionally true, wot Snyder has done has taken out ALL da emotional truth and left us as I said, like Doctor Manhattan, cold, aloof observers of events that cannot really matter to us, since we have lost all identification with da characters.

Considerin' da nature of da finale' and how pertinent it is now dat Earf seems to be enterin' a new Cold War, dis was, I fink a massive error and to gloss over dese characters in order to invest so much time in givin' the history of a character who is all but superflous since he dies at da beginnin' of da movie, is just really shoddy work.

4 fumbs up outta Ten.

Go read Da book. By da time you get ready, go for a meal, traipse to da cinema, endure da slew of adverts and trailers for dis years cover versions of old T.V. shows and Nick Cage's latest abomination, den endure dis folly of a movie, you would have probably got frough it anyway.

Left 4 Dead is great.

Left 4 Dead is a games dat I has been playin' lots n lots n lots since Exmas. It's a survival horror game where ye an' 4 other players has to weave yer way through a landscape of hordes of infected zombies wif limited ammo an healf. Sounds simple, is simple, but is also da mosty enjoyable fing I've played in a long long time cos dese zombs is fast, violent and multitudinous and when dey swarms on ye, ye had best be prepared for a gruelling fights or be killed. Dey jump,  climb over fings, break down doors , just so dey can bite punch and kick ye ta deaf, if ye is not careful. Course dey has dere own special  superpowered weirdo infected just to make fings worse. Dere is a fat dude who vomits on ye makin' it hard to see, but da vomit also acts like a murder pheremone so ye specifically is target by da swarms of grey deadlin's. Dere is da hunter who can pounce from heights and great distances an' land on ye an start tryin' ta feast on yer skin, da smoker who shoots out a long prehensile innards tongue type fing to strangle ye an pull ye away from da group, dere is da tank, who is like a WWE wrestler on PCP an uber-steroids who just tears inta da lots of ye, rippin up bits of road and chuckin' cars at ye, and den dere is da witch, who is easily disturbed an' will tear ye apart if ye don'ts sneak by her or blow here brains out real quick.

It is intense, hectic fun an' even after 3 months of simple gamin' I is still addicted..

On dat note here is a sneaky preview of a new hypocrypha story dat I'm makin' da Webster do after Canto 5. Enjoys.